all begins with L

It’s almost like the school is becoming that long term boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/fling of yours whose jokes aren’t funny anymore. What do you want? Anything. Are you okay? Ya. Did I do something wrong. No. Tell me what’s wrong? Nothing.

Fine.

While a friend in London is studying stage management landing giggs with the broadway, and another in Sweden writing her thesis on social impact of lights on third world countries, I am here reading the word ’strategy’ for the millionth time and ‘competitive edge’ lining my lips for the past (inserttripledigithere) hours or so.

On a lighter note, Mom came home late today with a subtle smile. And so I asked. She said, when you do the work you like, you lose track of time.

I happen to be aware of every second of what I’ve been up to these couple of days.

I’m happy for you Mom. I am.

1) Symptoms of adulthood include the willingness to engage oneself in endless (pointless) workload while forgoing an official midterm break-week. Perhaps it’s the guilt of having a massive weekend (note: Good Vibs) prior to theweek. .

2) I almost succumb to that (cattish) temptation in booking another one-way ticket. This time I have to persevere. No. No… I cannot. I cannot. Says the bank account.

3) The idea of paying $15 to hover around a buffet table, shoving namecards to couple of oldmen in suits is very very unappealing. In the name of networking, is that how it works?

4) Checking off the to-do-list is the most intriguing thing I’ve done in the last 80 odd hours or so.

5) This is not working.

6) Help.

What is worse than dealing with a moron?

Bearing frustration of the internet, or the lack of it. And there’s no way to get even or have any odds of doing so. God. Damn. The server.

Roar.

Learn not how to find a friend, nor where to look for one. But damn the bitch who never learns to keep one.

Nothing beats the company of a few good friends. What more a company of many many good friends! Today’s made special by you, you and You, YOU, and YOUyou. You know who who who and you you are. It’s comforting to note that I will shed some tears leaving, be it escaping or searching, I will cry and I will cry. Damn you.

Everybody is just a stranger
But thats the danger in going my own way
I guess its a price I have to pay
Still everything happens for a reason
Is no reason not to ask myself
If I’m living it right
— John Mayer

The things that I hear these days and subsequently think about have been randomly catergorized into different levels of myopic musings of an aspiring society. Like how the only topics that spark off decent conversations often revolve around the oppressor and the defender, depending on whether social ills or wealth distribution is the theme of the day.

Then there are the occasional blunders like
“I think hor the government should not place a designated smoking area for the public because that is like segregating the Malays.”

Pause.

Occasionally I would witness a six year old converting the train seat into a table in her attempt to finish up the last few pages of her fourth assessment book for the upcoming class test.

And today, there stood a middle aged men with his pseudo Jamaican braided-head blasting heavy metal from his lastest Nokia N-series, carving dissent out of everyone but no one, no one including me has the guts to remind him of some basic courtesy.

“What did Mummy say? Boy arh… What did Mummy tell you just now?”