all begins with L

i scratched my new pair of red shimmering heels. i am v v v sore.

I finally got around to a dinner table at that quaint little place in Hotel 1929. Much rave about the duck and the cousin’s liver, it didn’t take me long to plough my way through the menu. I do support eco friendliness but I love my foie gras and I like how it is done at Ember. I don’t think I can date an eco-nazi-savetheearthsavetheanimals type of person as yet.

I’m glad to have shared table with this bunch of ladies whom a decade ago I never thought I’d share my desserts with. But look at us!

Friends don’t come and go, they just converge and diverge at appropriate times with an underlying common factor as the magnetic force; people gravitate towards like-mindedness and I love the way you babes have got it going.

Toast to us~

God I love randomness.

I pledge that once I start earning, a good portion will be reserved for original copies of those who have cured my days and nights.

Rufus Wainwright
Feist
Loreena McKennitt
Rachel Yamagata
M Nasir
Charles Mingus
David Gray
Imogen Heap
India Arie
Ramlee Sarip
The Roots
Tin Hat Trio
Hello Saferide
Ray LaMontagne

The list goes on and on and on…

the last i felt that mad was probably ten years ago in the age of adolescence temper.

lay your hands on her again and I will kill you. I will.

Despite the floating state of a being, I must say yesterday’s party was in every sense a relishing moment for the free spirit. I don’t just like good house, I REALLY REALLY LOVE GOOD HOUSE music.

Q, if i could turn you into energy pills that I could prescribe to, I will.

There is a lot to do, a lot to plan, a lot to catch up with and make merry but it feels as though my gears are stuck - a transition anxiety perhaps. He said “… you are someone who lives in the present.”

But what happens when the present is less lucid a reality because the future seems more certain than ever. I have my mind poised for the future but the self yearns for a more concrete present, and the heart clings on to a past of which I so dearly treasure.

And you, when this is all over, (and this of which that I have no idea of what this is) let’s have scones and sandwiches and have sand on our feet.

I concede that I have no control over what this is, and I can’t wait for this to fly by.

.. a call woke me up and I am struck with profound loneliness.

Not sad, just profound.

After days of unwilling hibernation, life is thankfully back in motion. Albeit slow, I am gradually soaking in the living soul to see more of daylight. Vampire-living is great but immortality defeats life’s very purpose - to grasp that there is no tomorrow.

Upon the return of my lost cat, I am reminded of those I love and who love me.

If new years’ resolutions are meant to make the life a little less miserable, I pledge to hurt less next year.

We learn.

‘Little Children’ saved my night.

I’m going out after all. At the end of the day, the tangled mess of love, lust, lost, and lies will give way to a more profound state of mind. To what we have, we begin to see and appreciate.

I’ve having my smoke up on the hill tonight!

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special

Diminishing marginal returns applies to everything including the perks of being an ultimate bum. So I tried.

But I have been so innately unproductive that every time an attempt is made to be otherwise futility takes center stage. Who I am kidding.

So come tomorrow, it’s time to (re)embrace this natural phase of frivolous living.
To justify, I will probably not have such moments in life once adulthood fully develops its cells.

Slumber party with the girls on fri night, hill-top ciggie sessions on sat night, and a beach night out the day after.
Like an immortal with no perception of time and a vampire’s quest to make the most out of the moonlight.

Thinking of naming my future kids does not make me in maternal mode. I just love naming everything and that includes my laptop (Shane), my future cat, my phone and maybe I’ll have a Bvlgari home at some point. If one has to live personalized, why not go all out.

So I have these in mind - if it’s a boy he’s going to be Raoul, the second one will be Raphael. If it’s a girl, she’ll be Sierra, or Raphaella.

My future cat will be named Graham, regardless of gender, and the car shall be known as Nouvelle.

Depending on my mood at time of birth, Nouvelle could be for my first daughter instead.

I like androgynous names, it makes life easier like that.

1. Am leaving for Istanbul on Feb 1st. It’s a one way ticket so return date is tentatively sometime in August, hopefully from London.

2. Am scheduled for surgery on Jan 3rd and will be immobile for a week and partially mobile for the next two. By the fourth week, I’ll be up and running, probably training for a full marathon.

3. Am bivalent, am seeking peace within

4. Am hoping that the next couple of weeks will be just us

Love

TasteSpotting

I
want
my
own
kitchen

now.

Wish i have a neighbor that i can call up and meet at the corridor for 2am ciggie sessions. Unfortunately cosmo-living has brought such camaraderie to near extinction - neighbors.

companionship and personal space

the extremes can be very rewarding despite the ideal of balancing the two

but the struggle lies in the process of transcending from one zone to another

and by default it is harder for the one adapting

The parents are out of town for a couple of weeks and so a friend asked
“… now that you have the house to yourself and parents are out of town, what’s the plan going to be?”

Gosh. 5 years ago I would have an extended list of things to do- to wreck havoc out of the momentary freedom.

Now, come to think of it I’d probably do the same thing I have been doing the last couple of months, the only difference is now I have to do my own laundry.

I am a grown-up.

Blardy hell.

What a moron, the first thing to say to a person after three years of not even a hello -
“Hi, nice display pic, reminds me of my ex, so what’s your status now?”

I’m happy.

That’s it. Tomorrow I will shrink the msn list into half.
Delete dormant contacts.