all begins with L

it has been half a year of utter randomness
it began with a planned program
immersing myself in a new culture
where a cup of coffee tells it all

turkey

then midway to a pilgrimage equivalent
to satisfy the palate

spain awaits

i find myself in transit
in a flash in a train in an hour
if the city is a song, it’ll be an indie song

zurich

unexpectedly i found myself teleported back home
surrounded by the familiar, the old, the permanent
the ones i have missed and yearned to see

singapore

one month later i find myself in another city
a dream much thought about, a decade’s worth of believing
and now that i am here, the wonderland has shrunk into an ornament
like that perfect little snowball souvenir one would find in the harrods shopping mall

london

in cold ash thatcham
i wake up everyday at six and go to bed at ten
yoga every tuesday and other random things at hand
today i went mountain biking
spotting white horses along the hillsides

and i think to myself, what a random random world

two and a half weeks left before reality confronts
a home, a job, a room to hunt

Booking reference:
EDP6N6N
17 aug five am

i have chosen istanbul
to put an end
to this utter randomness of mine

i want to let you know but at the same time i’m holding back
like how it was so perfect that you don’t want to revisit it
afraid that it might taint the memory

but i’m going back, not to pick up from where i left
i’m going back, knowing that home is where the heart is.

yesterday i went to view a couple of apartments and stumbled upon a shoebox with decent enough a rent. laid back housemates, a red comfy couch in a cosy living room and a backyard for weekend bbq. and they have a cat in the house!

but i went back ‘home’ feeling unsettled.

london was my dream 10 years ago and it still is. and now that i am here there lies a tiny but gaping hole in the heart. or rather it has been filled up halfway with that recent love affair, which most of you have come to hear me rambling on and on about.

so i have made up my mind to move back to istanbul, to put an end to the ‘what if’(s).

london is that perfect man i have dreamt about, istanbul seems to be that imperfection that i would rather live with.

for now.

i change my mind like a five year old in a candy store.

keeping fingers/palms/toes/tongue crossed.

finding the right company to work for, is like spotting the right person to have a fling with. it’s not an everyday affair, and it takes time, sheer will and believe to make it happen.

just like that perfect summer fling.

I have officially graduated, in a less official (eventful) manner. No gowns, no glamour shots of shimmering heels and satin dresses, no because I had chosen to seize the one opportunity to chase a decade long dream.

A little part of me is still sore of not being able to be part of The Graduation Ceremony.

I wish I could.

Days have been filled with a myriad of activities ranging from tennis to rounders to yoga to football to ushering hundreds of kids into a shopping mall. We managed to slot in Kungfu Panda into the itinerary.

As the appointed dj for a pg-rated ‘disco night’, i had to make a list of songs i should “spin” for age 12 and below. Somewhere in between macarena and mamma mia, a few ten year olds came up to me and asked if i have benny bennasi and cascada (!!!). TEN YEAR OLDS! Then i’m reminded - oh i’m in europe. It’s all about the HTT baby.

*housetrancetechno

There has been much drama in a week’s worth. Russian boys bashing up the turks. turkish girls spreading rumours about the russian taking drugs. Two girls saw someone sniffing what looks like a tissue paper from afar and said “i saw them taking cocaine”. I had to stomach the hilarity of it all and pretended to be the concern house leader..that’s not how you do cocaine darling, believe me. Three little princesses decided to blow up the matter (because it’s fun having something to cry about) and have the turkish embassy in europe to jump onboard. The director of russian airline called from his motherland (who happens to be some kid’s dad) asking why was the bus to an excursion was delayed.

UK’s economy receives a boost during this time of the year because these kid spends 200pounds on average on chocolates, pencils and erasers in summer camps (each week).

“Erm, can I get my credit card. No another one also. Also when I have my 250 pounds?”

And today, I have to refresh my pretentious knowledge on yoga.
I’m holding classes on Monday evenings, from today onwards!

Oh and ehm I really really hate English weather.

am currently working in a summer english camp for kids from all over the world. the son of the director of russian airlines in here along side a prince from the middle east. my home for the next six weeks is in a small quintessential english town with a total of two english pub in it.

my house is chucked somewhere deep in the woods. a graveled path leads to the front door above which a wind chime hangs on, accessorising the creepiness of it all. it could be a setting for m night shyamalan’s sequel to the village. the house creaks i kid you not and yes include that dingy corridors and hollow hallways.

i do like london but england is too surreal for me. six weeks of hallmark and bedtime fairytale setting, i’m (fat) and happy here but i look forward to switching back to reality.

in the mean time i have to scout for a more proper stint. it just hit me yesterday that i am potentially homeless when i get back to london after these six weeks. well i have friends, not family, but not close friends.

it’ll be quite a sink or swim situation.

Thank you, you, you, you and you and you and you… and you .. and you for sending me off. It was a lil chaotic and brief, but heartfelt. Seriously, it would not have been possible without all of you (at the airport or not)

By that I mean, all of you.

zurich

next flight is in 8 hours

in exactly 10 hours time I’ll be in london

a backpack and an electric blue carrier

to kickstart the next phase of life

am i excited?

“… surreal but nice” hugh grant, notting hill.