all begins with L

“in every russian girl’s heart, there’s a turkish man.”

in every turkish man’s heart there’s a girl from every part of the world.

On a more trivial affair, there are two men in the office, a) the youngish copywriter that could do a stunt bottom for Wentworth Miller, the lead guy in Prison Break, b) the oldish -i would used the word ‘experienced’- creative director who has had his blood pressure tested recently and made me hook up his tube to his medical gadget, but he is charming and at some point rather suave. I’ve always had the hots for older men, Sean Connery any day over brad pitt types, but James Gallagher will do the trick too.

(just when you think i’m switching sides)

Oh, new entry: a neve campbell look-a-like just joint the office a day after me and her first few words to me were “sen blablabla guzel” (means you blablabla beautiful) and so I replied “Bende” (you too). But apart from ‘*hava guzel and **yemek guzel” we can only look at each other.

I’m not taking sides or switching sides, for now as far as priorities are concerned, a room, a paying job and restaurants to check off. If something were to happen, it’ll be serendipitous. So there!

*hava = weather
**yemek = food

You know how you dream about things and then you stumble upon them (little by little - as a turk would say it) along the way like finding a twenty-cent coin along the side street or spotting a shooting star when you look up to relieve a stiff neck. Yes that is how the days are unfolding for me…

a) working in ad firm (surprise surprise)
b) first client happens to be a luxury property project (note: previous stint was at a boutique realtor)
c) second assignment - documenting the works of an industrial design company (note: post-grad plans)
c.ii) a socially responsible/oriented industrial design company (love the philanthropic slash luxury mantra)
d) found out two seconds ago that Autoban’s office building is next to mine!! (three years ago these guys badged the ‘best young
designer’ award of the world.)
e) my next project is to market Turkey (note: Tourism 101)

f) this morning i woke up smiling, my grandmother has started walking again, in my dream that is.

… may the unseen forces continue playing catalyst.

i just stepped out, into the balcony of the office
lit up and looked over at the sun setting over the bosphorus
and i thought to myself, this is the place i never dreamt of

the cracks of old dilapidated buildings, the satellite dishes that dangle of them, could very well murder someone in the next minute, the bridges that lead to home

the imperfection that i could live with
this is the place i have never dreamt of, but it is a dream that i am living in
like a two month old baby, this is where or rather how i am starting,
everything on a fresh new page

and it starts with learning how to speak… literally.

amongst the million reasons of why i am where i am

red couch, white walls matt finished with a van gogh on the wall
i am moving in with two sisters, with too much to drink and too much to celebrate about
i had them at my welcome back party on the same day i went to see their crib
and so my new housemates were introduced
they like me
they are like me

i could not have better luck
when you have a living room, you have a house.

the night was cloudy
but it became clear that it was not meant to be
we tried to salsa and we both tried to lead

and that was it.

sometimes i wonder why i chose the hardest way to live.

no i have not found a proper paying job
yes my internship will start tomo at ten am
no they will be not be paying me until perhaps i can compensate for my minimal turkish
yes i will be teaching english in the evenings
no i have not found an apartment/room/shoebox to rent
yes i am staying with a friend at the moment
no i have not had baklava since i got here
yes i will be here indefinitely

no it’s not a glamorous affair
yes i might potentially be in love

no i have no guts to pursue it
yes i am a doofus

you asked me to “say something nice”

i had no words but to hold you in my arms. and even then i had no balls (literally and otherwise) to make a decent reply.

seriously, men have to realize that it doesn’t take a penis to make the world go round.

‘cause if it’s a turkish i love you, then it’s the same as saying wow the weather’s really hot today
if it’s the international version
then woooooooooo

IN ISTANBUL!

i can’t wait to blardy get out of this place. stupid fake plastic fuckers of the universe.

on the other hand, two and half days left. to make something happen.

self discovery:

i can’t date the shane types, because i tend to compete along side. but i do like shane types. how now brown cat.

on a less frivolous affair, i am one week away from real life. bosphorus, sutlac, dondurma and sun, here i come!

very shane.. so very shane.

mom always say this to me

“do something that makes you happy, and do it to the very best, then i’ll stop nagging”

but what if that thing that makes you happy is intangible, like the river that flows in between,

how do you ‘do’ it.